Right now, it may seem like the answer to how to be happier lies in a covid vaccine or getting rid of the virus for good. Of course, those things are likely to make us all happier, but the real key to you being happier lies within you and the choices you make. Yes, it can be that simple.
Life presents us with many challenges – and boy, have we been faced with some in 2020. Redundancy, isolation, time away from family and friends – not to mention illness and loss. It can feel like these things are happening to us – as if we are victim to some kind of outside force over which we have no control, and which seems to be putting every possible obstacle in the way of our happiness.
Sometimes the challenges we face might come from another person. They may say or do something that leaves us feeling hurt and powerless. It’s likely we’ve all felt let down by someone close, at some point in our lives.
Imagine what would happen if you could influence how you feel in these situations. If you were no longer the powerless ‘victim’ of events or unkind words. How different would your life be then if, despite these situations, you could still be happy?
The good news is you do have influence. You’re not a ‘powerless victim’. None of us are. We can all make a difference to our own life and we can all feel happier, even when we face the most difficult challenges.
All we have to do is make different choices
We always have a choice about how we see a situation and how we respond to it.
You could feel devastated by yet another covid-induced cancellation or, instead, you could focus on looking forward to the time you get to celebrate being together again. You could think of 2020 as a complete write-off or you could be thankful you kept your family safe, got to know your neighbours better or discovered new places on your doorstep.
Either way, the events of 2020 won’t change. Our choice of perspective though, can.
Even when facing the very worst life experiences, we have choices. We can choose to see the loss of a loved one, for instance, as unfair or devastating. Or we can choose to focus on how grateful we are that they were in our life. We can celebrate the times we had together and the positive impact they had on us.
What we think, can’t change the situation, but it can make all the difference to how we feel about it and respond to it.
Happiness comes from the choices we make (including our choice of perspective)
Judgement, resentment, bitterness and anger stop us from being happy – not covid, other people or situations beyond our control. If we learn to accept, forgive, respect and love, we are far more likely to experience happiness.
You might be reading this thinking it all sounds too simple – too good to be true. It’s not.
Admittedly, learning to be aware of your mindset and make different choices about how you view things isn’t always easy, but I and countless of my clients have tried it and it’s made a real difference. It’s meant we’ve become happier and less weighed down by the events and people we can’t change.
This approach has certainly helped me get through lockdown and it’s something I’m going to continue to practice in 2021. The New Year sadly isn’t going to be the magic bullet we’ve all been hoping for – the dawn of a covid-free world – but by being more aware of the choices I make, including the perspective I choose, I’m aiming to make the year to come a happier one and I hope you can too.
*If you’d like to know more about making different choices, then do get in touch. I offer a trial, no-obligation coaching session and also an online self-help course which you can do in your own time and the comfort of your own home.
Take a look at https://www.juliettesmith.co.uk/course-for-individuals/
